If Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is "A-Rod," is former Red Sox and White Sox reliever Frank Baumann "F-Baum"? …

What about Twins right-hander Brad Radke? Is he "B-Rad," or "Brad"? You bet he is. ?

Likewise, Cardinals reliever Braden Looper is "B-Loop," or "Bloop." …

Fellow Redbird Albert Pujols is "A-Pu," or "Apu." …

Rays infielder Ty Wigginton is ?T-Wig,? or ?Twig.? …

Tigers third baseman Brandon Inge is ?B-Inge,? or ?Binge.? …

And Orioles catcher Javy Lopez is ?- you guessed it ?- ?J-Lo.? ?

Even with fragrant All-Stars Bartolo Colon and Aramis Ramirez on board, my fantasy squad stinks. Go figure. ?

Something tells me that Angels right-hander Chris Bootcheck ?- not a Dallas-area orthotics specialist ?- was behind the decision by Rangers right fielder Kevin Mench to check his shoe size and ultimately relieve his long-suffering feet.