Riding The Life Of Pine

HammockSince being called up from Triple-A Round Rock last month, Rockies catcher Robby Hammock has been familiarizing himself with unfamiliar territory ?- the bench. Of course, Hammock isn?t the first athlete named after a comfortable seating device to have made the not-so-comfy transition to the Life of Pine. Once the No. 1 overall pick in the NFL draft, Tim Couch hasn?t taken a regular-season snap since 2003. And after earning Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year honors as a center at Penn State, Calvin Booth has averaged a paltry 13.6 minutes per game and started only 82 of 283 contests over his seven-year NBA career. ?

GloveFree-agent point guard Gary Payton has long been dubbed ?The Glove,? and for good reason. The future Hall of Famer has been named to the All-NBA Defensive First Team nine times and nabbed Defensive Player of the Year honors in 1996. Still, none of that explains why a bare-handed basketballer earned the nickname before any of the thousands of glove-wearing baseball players before him. ? 

Boston-area medical experts can run all the tests they want, but I know
the real source of Red Sox slugger David Ortiz?s recurring heart
palpitations. It has to be all those D?Angelo sandwiches he?s been
eating. I went there the other day, and the sandwich they call the ?Red
Hot Papi? has ham, bacon, turkey, roast beef, two cheeses, mayo,
mustard and hot sauce on it. I?m no doctor, but if he cuts out one of
the cheeses and the hot sauce, believe me, he?ll be fine. ?

Upon completing his rehabilitation stint with Class A St. Lucie (Fla.), Mets outfielder Cliff Floyd was expected to fly out to Colorado or Houston ? because if hitting a baseball three-quarters of the way across the country isn?t proof enough thata guy is ready to return to big-league action, what is? ?

Anchorman_fondoOutfielder Adam Dunn hits fourth in Reds lineup and ?- coincidentally
?- bears a striking resemblance to comedian Will Ferrell. Call him
Cincinnati?s ?Anchorman.? ?

Redskins linebacker Lamar Marshall should cut to the chase and rename himself ?Lamarshall.? Likewise, former Red Sox southpaw John Johnson should just be ?- what else? ?- ?Johnson?? ?

If S-E-A-N is pronounced ?Shon,? then call me ?Don? — D-E-A-N Don. But I?m not the only one who has qualms with the traditional spelling of this name. Just ask former Cubs shortstop Shawon Dunston, Diamondbacks outfielder Shawn Green, Angels utilityman Chone Figgins, Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander and Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman.

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