The Department Store

HamelsAsk people in Philadelphia about Phillies southpaw Cole Hamels, andthey’ll tell you he’s a mega-prospect, a savior, a future All-Star. But
ask me about Cole Hammels, and I?ll tell you he sounds like a men’s
department store, a glorious hybrid of Kohl’s, Cole Haan and Kenneth
Cole. …

In a startling revelation, Barry Bonds admitted to being conscious of his pursuit of Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron on the game’s all-time home run list. "This thing, it’s like chasing two ghosts, you know?" said the Giants slugger. "I can imagine what Roger Maris went through." Two ghosts, eh? Somebody tell Barry that Hammerin’ Hank ain’t dead just yet. …

ClichesIn spite of his 22 years, 6-foot-7 Mets pitching prospect Mike Pelfrey is undaunted by the prospect of pitching in New York. "I never feel pressure. … I always tell myself wherever I’m at, I’m here for a reason. … I just need to go out and do it. Just got to put it all together. … You have to roll with adversity. If you can’t handle criticism, you’re going to fail. It’s about turning the page," said Pelfrey, reading directly from his favorite list of clichés. …

Who says pro ballplayers are selfish? Marlins southpaw Dontrelle Willis, for one, gives $100 to injured war veterans for every strikeout he records on the mound as part of "Strikeouts for Troops." Still no word on whether fellow strikeout artist Mark Bellhorn of the Padres will join the cause by donating $100 for every time he whiffs at the plate. …

And I don’t care what the injury report says. Yankees right-hander Carl
Pavano, who hasn’t pitched in the big leagues for 11 months, shouldn’t
be on the 15-day disabled list.

 

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